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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Stefan's Jealous Love

“Your thoughts betray you, my love. I know you still love him, though he can never be your mate, for only I can. We are the only two of our species. You slyly loved him in high school. You would never let him near, for your instincts could see our eternal fate. He pined for you, dreamed of you, and felt your mind in a most intimate way. His father’s abuse wrecked his fragile genius, and his perpetual loneliness ensnared you and your human empathy to care deeply for him. His mind’s depths and mysteries tormented you — mysteries which only I can understand.

Now we are mates and yet I am still jealous — I feel so ashamed. He saved my life — he saved my life and I killed him. I feel so guilty, though as you say my love, I could not have prevented it. Why must I learn to be king — learn to endure his pain and the pain of others as if it were nothing? I cannot help it. I feel his pain as this creepy machine wrecks his half-finished body, forcing you to relive the horror of our ascension to this life, forcing you to relive the horror of the death of your love in waiting.

I know I have trapped you with my boyish ways and the necessity of our biology yet sometimes, sometimes, I wish I was the one on the table now and he was the one standing beside you. Though I must tell no-one, I know what comes next. No one must know how I know. I know my Sophistan father and the other tormented energy beings will test me in ways so incredibly painful. I long for the love of my human father and my fairy mum, and my treasured colored pencils and drawing paper. I long for the simple days of teaching drawing to kids visiting my mum’s bookshop. I have been locked out of my house and sent down the road to your intoxicating, consuming love — and to the brutality of humans in my secret kingdom.”

 The illustration above is by Matt Curtis and is from book #2, "The Saeshell Book of Love Part 2: The Rebirth of Innocents".

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